A new beginning

So today I start again after 6 months of voluntary retirement from writing. The reason I stopped writing then is I thought I was getting stuck at a particular stage and not moving beyond that. I became prejudiced over certain themes and became too obsessed to get over them. But I didn’t do justice with those themes too. The themes over which I am obsessed are themes like darkness, reality, illusion, memory which even an average reader would acknowledge are the most beautiful themes of the universe. I played with the same content again and again and made a shell out of which I was not willing to come out. Now after 6 months, I think that I am a lot more receptive to the themes and content I could write. I don’t know whether I could be a good writer or not. To tell the truth, the thought of writing has always intimidated me a little, but this doesn’t belittle the fact that I love writing. There are lot of days when I think I am not good enough a writer, especially when I see works which are much better than mine but I have convinced myself, from now on, I don’t want to feel insecure after witnessing good stuff but to take inspiration from the same and try to create better works than what I have created till now. I think I am going to experiment with the form of writing on the blog and I am pretty much still confused whether I should keep this as a private or public blog. As of now, I am going to keep it public but who knows what comes to my mind tomorrow. There is a specific reason why I have named this new blog wispelturigme. Wispelturig is a Dutch word which when translated in English means a capricious, volatile person and in my entire life, I haven’t got a better word than this to define me. At least the search for a perfect blog name is over because I understand now, there can be no perfect blog name, that there can be nothing absolutely perfect, that our visions of perfection constantly alter their symmetries but I can take pride in that I understood this and if after some months my mind brainstorms a better blog name, I would be more than willing to replace it with this one. I have always preached this cliche to my friends, relatives, seniors, juniors and students alike that “change is the only constant in this world” but I don’t know how much I practiced it. Yes, everyone likes change but change many a times dwells upon probability, the chance, the risk and individual under these circumstances is intimidated. I won’t deny that I would be intimidated by the prospects of change but I would not allow this trepidation to affect me. I would try to best of my abilities to keep my mind open to the infinite possibilities of this beautiful universe. Yes, there is war in this world, there is poverty, hunger, violence, greed, jealousy but there is love too, there is peace, there is beauty. In this world and this life only there will be moments which will leave us speechless, between the millions and trillions of superficial acts, there will be authentic acts of love and kindness too, let’s live for those moments, let’s write for those moments. All said, this doesn’t mean I will turn my face away from all the ugliness of this world. I will speak about it, I will fight for the rights of my fellow citizen and I will write about it. At times, I may be a part of that ugliness too, being greedy, jealous and hostile but in spite of everything I will try to stand tall against myself.